Sunday, December 28, 2008

merry christmas is merry

edits: none

now i know this post had been looooong overdue but there had been non-stop party day in and day out for the past couple of days that I rarely got time to update this site. anyways, on with our story for today.

this, by far, is the most important gift that i received this Christmas. This was personally given to me by her. It had a somewhat funny and sweet story behind it that it gives me tingles whenever I think about it.

She went here at my place together with our inaanak on the day before Christmas. I invited her and she accepted and I was utterly happy and speechless. She was wearing a drop-dead gorgeous blue dress and armed with that impeccable smile as I saw her at the gate. I immediately asked her for my gift and she told me that she totally forgot it due to some circumstances. We just hung-out here to pass the day and just enjoyed the moment. When she got home (I think at past 6 p.m.), she sent me a message saying that she’ll return here just to give her gift to me on that same day. After an hour, I again saw her at the front gate. I asked her if we could stroll for a while and she gladly accepted my proposal. It was rather surreal. I mean, I used to just think and daydream of the day when we’ll take a stroll at our subdivision, just talking about stuff and laughing and now, here we are! Doing what I dreamt of and it feels sooooo ggooooodddd!!

This had been one of the best Christmas that I ever had! And am glad that I’m still here to experience it!

Merry Christmas everyone and have a fruitful new year!



Friday, December 19, 2008

lovers...... in denial



Edits: none
Model: Shan (the dude), mystery chick X (as requested by Shan)
Photographer: sadly it’s not me and as requested, we’ll just refer to her as mystery chick Y.
Location: Subic (some place here in the philippines)

I just love this shot! This was shown to me by a friend and something just snapped and I thought of at least 5 well-written captions to capture the emotion that is being depicted in the picture. I dunno but I guess I was just captivated by the way they projected in the camera and I never thought that such a simple gesture can mean tons and tons of things. I mean the picture can be anything from a lover having some quarrel/problems or it has something to do with the tree but my favorite caption/interpretation would be that both of these dudes may actually be holding back their emotion for one another. It maybe due to some reason or commitment why they’re both hesitating to hold each other’s hands. It’s as if they are both waiting for the other person to make the first move and give the signal for his/her intention. Of course the dude is afraid to say what he really feels because he’s afraid to ruin their “friendship”. What the effing-ness is that!? What the dude doesn’t know is that the feeling is mutual. The chick also likes him but she’s afraid of rejection, especially if it will be from him… the dude should just do his thing and dance his way into the chick’s heart!

how many of us have been in this similar situation? more than friends but not yet lovers... the dude's christmas might be one of the coldest christmas to date so if anyone can spare a advice, i guess now's the perfect time.

Hhhaaiiiizzz…. Love… so disgustingly deadly!

Thursday, December 18, 2008

in loving memory of cexil


edits: none
model: cexil (moto v3 phone)

Editor’s note: I am still having a hard time accepting the facts as I write this entry. 

Cexil has been my constant companion for the past 2 years. We had so much fun together! She has seen both my good and bad sides alike. She witnessed how happy I am when I’m having conversations with the sampaguita. She abhorred me when I was once my old self – wearing a mask just to get the attention and affection of a number of girls. She witnessed how I worked and schemed in order to understand how and what goes into the head of the girl that I wanted but in the end, it was all just a game. Sure we had our own share of misunderstandings but it is during these times that she hurts me the most! We always had a lot of problem especially when I talk about the sampaguita – most of the times, cexil won’t talk to me for hours. It’s not that she can’t, am guessing that she just doesn’t want to. Those battlescars are the proof what we’ve been through. Every single time that I forget about her or just hurt her by mistake, I always make it a point to talk to her just to tell her how much I love her and how important she is in my life. And at the end of the day, I always find myself coming back to her and I make it a point of looking her in her eyes before going to sleep. 

A couple of days ago, while cexil and I were having our usual chat, she just ditched me without warning. At first, I thought that she was just having one of her “episodes” so I waited for her for a couple of hours. I even bought her a gift in order to appease her pain. It is at this point I noticed that she wasn’t breathing! I totally freaked out and I dunno what to do! I kept on talking to her “stay out of the light! Please baby! Just stay out of the light!” but to no avail. I wept and wept and then wept some more but tears aren’t enough to bring her back. I felt that a quarter of me died together with her. I dunno what to do with what I still have right now and I dunno how to continue fighting. My life won’t be the same without her and a lot of friends, families and peers suggested that I should just find myself a new one. What they don’t understand is how important cexil is in my life and it won’t be easy just giving up on her, much more replacing her. But life must go on and as I mourn in silence here, I know she’s happy where she is right now and for the last time I wanted to let her know how much I love her! How much she had change my life! That my life won’t be the same without her. 

Goodbye… my love.. 

P.S: I’d like to thank ser padlock for extending her condolence when he heard what happened to cexil.

Monday, December 15, 2008

sa wakas! kami na.... ulet!!!

edits: none

model: sister and jex's hand

Wwoohhhooo!! Napakasaya kong bata! Matagal din syang nawala sa akin at akala ko ay hindi na sya babalik pang muli. Mabuti na lang at mali ako! Siguro hindi ako mabubuhay kung wala sya. Hindi ako makatulog sa gabi ng hindi sya sinasambit. Ok, ok iku-kwento ko na…

Gaya ng sabi ko, matagal na nga syang nawala at ni hindi ko na nga nararamdaman ang kanyang aura. Sa isang pambihirang pagkakataon, bigla syang nagparamdam sa akin kahapon. Syempre sa una dedma lang ako kase sa loob-loob ko lang e baka naman nang-scam lang ito. Pero naging makulit at mapusok sya. Hindi ko na alam ang gagawin ko. Andaming tumatakbo sa isip ko kagaya na lang ng “anu na lang ang mangyayari sa akin pag pumasok na naman sya sa buhay ko!?” at “dapat pa ba kitang tanggapin? Masaya na ako sa buhay ko”. Nung una kaming nagsama, ito ay tumagal lamang ng halos isang buwan – isang buwan na puno ng pighati at paghihirap. At ngayon nga ay muli syang kumakatok sa aking pintuan upang sya’y akuin muli. Wala sya kahit anu mang pinapangako na kagaya lang din naman nung una nyang pagdating sa buhay ko. Sadyang naging matigas ang aking puso. Sawa na akong masaktan, mahirapan at mag-invest sa isang bagay na walang kasiguraduhan. Marahil ay napagod na din ako. Sa buong maghapon ay patuloy ang kanyang pagpaparamdam at pangungulit. Magsisinungaling ako pag sinabi ko na d ako humanga sa kanyang determinasyon. Syempre napaisip din naman ako na “siguro seryoso na sya ngayon” pero talagang nagpigil ako na muling mahulog sa kanyang bitag – if bitag nga ba nya talaga or seryoso na sya. Sumapit ang gabi at oras na para umalis ako sa opis, tumigil na din sya sa kanyang pang-aasar pero sa d maipaliwanag na dahilan, muli kong hinanap-hanap ang kanyang pangungulit. Sa may terminal ng FX – wala pa din kahit na ano. Naghintay ako ng naghintay hanggang sa makarating ako sa bahay ngunit wala pa din akong napala. Pagkatapos kumain ay ibinalot ko na ang regalo ko para kay jennylicious at ako ay nahiga na para makapagpahinga dahil may pasok pa kinabukasan. Nang ako ay medyo naidlip na, muli syang nagparamdam. D maipaliwanag na pinaghalong saya at inis ang aking naramadaman. Masaya dahil nagparamdam na ulet sya, naalala nya ko bago matulog. Naiinis dahil kung kelan ako matutulog, dun pa sya nagparamdam pppfffttt!! Natural, d ko pa din sya kinikibo. Nagpapakipot mode ako syet! Dalagang.pilipina mode: ON wahahahahaha. Ganun nga ang nangyari, buong magdamag sya nanligaw (amf!) sa akin at d ako nakatulog sa dahil sa kakaisip. Dumating ang umaga at napagdesisyunan ko na bigyan sya muli ng pagkakataon. Long story short, pagkatapos nya manligaw ng isang buong araw e naging kami the next day. Uu kami na.. ulet!! Ssssaaarrrrraaapppp juice kkkkkoooo!!!!

At ngayon nga, eto kasama ko pa sya sa opis. Oo, sumabit pa sya sa opis. Nagmatigas talaga sya. Sana pala uminom na ako ng gamot at vitamins para d ka na lang ulet dumating. Pakyu kang ubo ka! At nararamdaman ko pa na dadalawin ako ng kapatid mong sipon mamaya-maya lang at ang tiyahin mong trangkaso mamayang gabi. Baka naman d ka pa masiyahan dyan!? Isama mo na ang buong angkan! Si daddy migraine at si mommy LBM isama mo na din! Pakyu ka! Pakyu kayong lahat!

Sunday, December 7, 2008

ex marks the spot



edits: none
model: jex
location: our home

What does X or “ex” in ex-girl/boyfriend mean? I just thought of this shitty-ness this morning when I embraced my sister. I don’t know but it just popped out of nowhere. I mean, if the X in KX is exchange (KX = knowledge exchange) and the ex in expat is expatriate (well pretty much the same, just the long version) and the ex in example is aahhmmmm example, what does ex or X (however you wanna effing write it) signify in ex-boy/girlfriend? Does it mean that that particular person is dead (X == dead) or does it mean excited/exciting or extravagant or any other of that effi-ness...

Kindly shed some light on this stupid-ignorant-excuse-of-a-person…

P.S. I couldn’t find any knife thus I can’t scar my face like kenshin himura.

Saturday, November 29, 2008

take my hand in your darkest hour


edits: none
model: lelouch vi britania action fig

Lahat naman tayo may problema e, pero ang pinag-iba lang ng mga tao ay yung kung papano nila dalhin at harapin yung problema.

Samapagita: maraming, maraming salamat sa buhos ng tubig. Marahil kung wala ka, matagal na akong natuyo at nawalan ng bango. maraming, maraming salamat sa yo!
Ulan: walang anuman! gagawin ko lahat ng ito para lang sa yo, kahit pa matikas ang sikat ng araw, pupuntahan pa din kita.
Sampagita: korni neto! Tas pag magkasama tayo palagi ka namang umiiyak…
Ulan: dduuhhhh.. ulan nga ako e… kelangan ko lumuha para may lumabas na tubig.
Sampagita: bakit ka umiiyak? Malungkot ka ba? Naka-ilan redhorse ka na naman ba?
Ulan: malungkot na malungkot dahil maraming mga bagay na bumabagabag sa akin. Mga bagay na d ko naman alam kung dapat nga bang isipin.
Sampagita: alam mo naman nandito lang ako e. pwede mo naman akong kausapin. Maaari kong ipaamoy sa iyo ang aking halimuyak nang sa gayon ay maibsan ang iyong nararamdaman. Baket ka ba kasi malungkot?
Ulan: d ko pwedeng sabihin sa yo… kelangan ko munang kausapin ang 7th angel.
Sampagita: andaya mo naman e! ako sinasabi ko sa yo lahat ultimo tatak ng pesticide na ginagamit sa akin.
Ulan: d ko pwedeng sabihin sa yo kung baket ako malungkot kase ikaw mismo ang dahilan nito…
Sampagita: kilala mo na ko. Alam mo na kung anu anung mga insekto at pesticide ang inilalagay sa akin. Masyado ng magulo ang mundo ko kaya wag mo ng tangkain pang pumasok pa… sa isang iglap, mawawala na lang ako mula sa iyong paningin at kalinga. D dahil pinagtataguan kita o nagalit ako sa yo bagkus ayaw na kitang madamay pa sa magulong buhay ko. Kung saan-saan ako mapupunta, kung sinu-sino ang bibili sa akin at pagkatapos ng ilang araw ako ay matutuyo at malalanta din. Pero ito ang tandaan mo, isa ka sa mga bagay na pinapahalagahan ko!
Ulan: F me! F me! F me kalachuchi! May narinig ka ba sa akin nung pinasok ka ng bubuyog at kuhanin ang iyong pukyot? Nung may pesticide ba, kahit poisonous ka, iniwan ba kita?
Sampagita: e bakit ba kasi pinagpipilitan mo yang tubig mo sa akin!? Dun ka na lang sa kalachuchi… tutal d naman sya nabebenta sa simbahan e.
Ulan: whatever….
Sampagita: ay putangina ka! Umalis ka na nga dito! Bumabaha na! o baka naman gusto mo pa utusan ko yung bubuyog ko para putaktihin ka!? Alis dyan! Wag mong pagsiksikan sarili mo sa bagay na ayaw sa yo! pakyu!

Lahat tayo, naghahanap ng kakapitan sa oras ng ating mga problema. para sa mga tao na sakop sa henerasyon ko, mas madalas buhay pag-ibig at pakikipagsapalaran ang nagiging sanhi ng ating pagkabagabag. Ngayong dumapo sa akin ang epidemyang ito, sinu ba ang aking matatakbuhan? Ang tanging napaghingahan ko ng sama ng loob at nararamdaman ko ay si 7th angel at ang jennylicious ngunit may hinahanap pa akong iba. Isang tao na marinig ko lang ang tinig ay lumalakas ang aking kalooban. Isang tao na kaya kong ipaglaban. Ngunit papano ako tatakbo sa kanyang mga kamay kung sya mismo ang sanhi ng aking nararamdaman!?

Friday, November 28, 2008

smile award


i'd like to thank mam canky for sharing this awardto me and because of this award, i'll never create emotional post... it's not healthy both for the mind and body ^_^

Sunday, November 23, 2008

token of appreciation


edits: none

remember my jennylicious entry? curious on who she is and what she looks like? here's your chance! the "santa's elf" image up there is her! it was part of a runway presentation last year and i happen to salvage a couple of images.. *devil*

enough about that, now for some serious stuff.. i just thought of givin her a little something on her coming birthday this november 27. i composed a poem, i mean the poem composed itself, to give to her on that special day and i've also prepared a surprise. i owe this person half of my life and she's one of the person that earned my respect the most! it would be very very hard for me to say goodbye to her on my impending resignation early next year that's why i decided to give her what she wanted the most on her special day...

haberdey my jennylicious!!

Friday, November 14, 2008

strip

edits: none
models: lelouch (student), kallen, suzaku, lelouch(zero) - code geass r2 action figs owned by me.
storyboard by jex

i've been weeping for the past few weeks now until i got a hold of may camera. i had no specific subject in mind until i happen to see my code geass r2 action figure and i did a storyboard on a paper based on their poses. since i got nothing better to do but cry and get hurt, i decided to digitized the storyboard that i made. this is my first time to do a strip and hope you will like them. the way the story flowed in this particular strip depicts a true to life story that i'm experiencing right now.

p.s. if the text are unreadable (due to the image size), just click on the image to enlarge it..

Saturday, November 8, 2008

i am jex.... and i'm crying


edits: none
model: jex (a.k.a me -_-;)

well.. i can't say anything... the title conveys it all
..

Saturday, November 1, 2008

lurker


edits: brightness + noise reduction
location: somewhere here on earth ^_^

happy halloween everyone!! i was supposed to post this come friday the 13th but i reckon that it would be a loooooonnnngggggg time before we have one...

Sunday, October 26, 2008

sad jappy is ssooooo sad


edits: auto tone (photoshop lightroom preset)
model: jxmn
location: our home

warning: the following post contains a lot of emotional distraught and pain. I’ve been in an emotional rollercoster ride this past few weeks and I guess, the ride has come to a permanent stop now.

Andaming nangyari nitong mga nakaraang araw at hindi ko alam kung papano at saan magsisimula. Sya ang naging susi kung bakit nagbago ang disenyo at pigura nitong blog ko. Siya ang naging dahilan upang maranasan ko kung papano maging masaya at ma-enjoy ang buhay ko. Binago nya kung sino ako at ang aking mga paniniwala, bagay na paulit-ulit kong sinasabi sa aking mga katropa na hindi madaling gawin. Ngunit sadyang mapgbiro talaga ang tadhana at sa isang iglap, ako ay nabali at wari’y isang laruan na nawalan ng halaga.

Isa sa mga ka-opisina ko ang madalas kong nakaka-kwentuhan tungkol sa mga ganitong mga bagay. Marahil naging komportable na akong kausap sya kung kaya’t sya ang nakaka-usap ko kahit na wala naman kaming binibigay na pangalan. Animo’y isang parehong sitwasyon ang napagdaanan nya noon at ang nangyayari sa akin ngayon at sa isa naming pag-uusap:

Ako: dude, bakit ganun? Kahit sinaktan at niloko na sya ng dalawang beses, mahal padin nya yung tao?
Senior: dude, ganun talaga! Pagmahal mo ang isang tao, magiging bulag at pipi ka talaga. Tatanggapin mo lahat ng pagkakamali nya at ngiti lang ang isusukli mo. Mahal mo kasi sya e.
Ako: eto pa masama – nahuli na nya sa akto na nanloloko, sukat akalain mo ba naman na sabihin sa akin na bibigyan pa daw nya ng isa pang pagkakataon yung “ex” nya. Trip ko syang batukan. Ngumingiti lang ako pero parang andaming sibat na tumutusok sa puso ko.
Senior: gaya ng sabi ko, pag mahal mo yung isang tao, gagawin mo lahat – kahit ibig sabihin nun ay magpakatanga ka.
Ako: kahit na ang ibig sabihin nun ay pagyurak sa karapatan mo bilang isang tao at bilang isang babae?

Nasaktan talaga ako ng husto ng makita ko syang lumuluha sa aking harapan at parang mas doble pa ang sakit na aking nararamdaman. Wala akong magawa kung hindi samahan at damayan sya sa kanyang dinaramdam. Sa isang banda, kahit papano ay nasiyahan ako dahil ang ibig sabihin noon ay libre na sya at maaari ko ng ipagpatuloy ang naudlot kong balak noon. Hindi ko na ikukwento ng lubos ang mga nangyari nung mga panahong iyon kase masyadong hahaba ang aking istorya. Lumipas ang mga araw na kami ay nagpapalitan ng mga mensahe sa text at parang di kumpleto ang gabi kapag d ko nababasa ang kanyang text. Sa mga sumunod na araw, minabuti ko na tumakas sa opis sa kalagitnaan ng “working hours” upang kami ay magkita sa isang mall at maglibang. Dumating pa sa punto na ako ay umaalis ng maaga sa opis o yung tinatawag na “undertime” para sa gayon ay magkasama kami ng matagal. Dis-oras na ng gabi pag ako ay umuwi sa bahay pagkatapos naming magkita (at may pasok pa kinabukasan nun) pero di ko yun ininda. Noong nakaraang linggo lamang, nagkita kami sa roxas boulevard na nun ko lamang napuntahan. Lingid sa aking kaalaman, iyon na pala ang huli naming pagkikita.

Isang napakasimple at napakagandang dilag ang bumulaga sa akin pagkababa ko sa istasyon ng vito cruz. Bumili sya ng apat na hamburger at minabuti namin na sa roxas boulevard na lamang iyon banatan. Ambaho ng pesteng manila bay! Wahahahhaha! Pasensya na, kelangan ko lang talagang ialis sa sistema ko yun heheheh. Wari akong naging turista sa piling nya. Umupo kami sa isang bahagi ng napakahabang hilera ng pahingahan sa tabi ng ilog/dagat. Andaming bagay naming napagkwentuhan at naging masaya ako na nangyari ang gabing iyon. Hindi ko maalala ang eksaktong pagkakataon ng sabihin niya sa akin na “dude, sinabi sa akin ng “ex” ko na nakipag-break na daw sya dun sa dati nyang girlfriend.” D maipaliwanag na takot at alinlangan ang aking nadama. Muling namutawi sa aking isipan ang sinabi sa akin ni senior. Natakot talaga ako ng husto! Habang lulan kami ng taxi, tumatawag sa kanyang telepono ang “ex” nya. Maka-ilang beses iyon at dumating pa sa punto na sinabi nya sa akin na sagutin ko daw yung telepono para malaman nung “ex” nya na kami ang magkasama. Sa di ko malaman na dahilan, tumanggi ako na sagutin ang tawag. Bago kami maghiwalay ng landas, tinanong nya ako:

Jexamine: dude, masaya ka ba ‘pag kasama mo ko?
Ako: syempre naman! Sa tingin mo ba mag-a-undertime ako at tatakas sa office if inde ko gusto na kasama ka? Masayang masaya ko pag kasama kita!

Matapos nito ay sumakay na ako ng bus upang makauwi na sa bahay. Lumipas ang mga araw na wala akong naririnig mula sa kanya. Hinahanap-hanap ko ang kanyang mga texts na nagsasabi na magkita kami na syang hudyat upang ako ay tumakas sa opisina. Nag-text ako sa kanya ng napakadalas ngunit wala akong nakuhang mga sagot. Muli ko na namang naisip ang sinabi sa akin ni senior na naging dahilan ng aking pagkabalisa. Hindi ako mapakali. Hanggang sa napagdesisyunan ko na tawagan na lamang sya. Bumaba ako ng opis upang magkaroon ng magandang tanawin at tahimik na paligid. Nanlalamig at nanginginig ang aking mga kamay sa pagpindot ng kanyang mga numero. Sabik na sabik akong marinig ang kanyang boses, malaman ang kanyang kwento at madama ang kanyang mga ngiti. Eto na! Tapos nang mailagay ang numero! Nag-ri-ring na! Biglang isang lalaki ang sumagot. Napatingin ako sa numero na aking nilagay. Baka lang kako nagkamali ako ng nai-dial kaya ganun. Para naman di masayang ang aking load nagtanong na din ako:

Ako: hello. Eto pa din ba yung number ni jexamine?
Boses: Oo! Baket? Sino ka?
Ako: nandyan ba sya? Pwede ba sya makausap? May sasabihin kasi ako e.
Boses: wala e. nagpalit KAMI ng sim, try mo na lang mamaya.
Ako: ganun ba!? Sige salamat.

Biglang nagdilim ang aking paningin. Nangyari na ang ganitong insidento isang taon ang nakakalipas ng saktong tumawag ako sa kanila ng pasko at ang boses na iyon ang sumagot. Sinabi din nya sa akin na wala si jexamine doon at nalaman ko na lang na iyon pala ang boyfriend nya. Andaming mga tanong na pumasok sa utak ko. Nagulumihanan ako. D ko alam ang aking gagawin at di ko din alam kung anu na ang nangyayari. Pumanhik ako sa opisina. Nakatulala lamang sa harap ng aking monitor. D alintana ang kasiyahang nagaganap. Sinabi ko na lamang sa aking sarili na huwag humusga ng kahit na ano. Mas mabuti na sa kanya mismong bibig manggaling kung sino yung boses at kung talagang nagkabalikan na sila. Ang sakit-sakit ng nararamdaman ko! Kung legal lang na dumugo ang puso (literal na dumudugo), siguro makakapag-donate na ako sa red-cross ng 5 sako ng dugo!

Naghintay ako ng mga araw ngunit hanggang sa ngayon ay wala pa din akong naririnig mula sa kanya. Hindi ko na alam kung ano ang gagawin ko. Pinaghalong sakit at pangamba na baka wala na nga talaga akong hinihintay pa. Natatakot ako na malaman na wala na sya… ansakit-sakit!!!!

Note: I’m so sorry for this lengthy post. I just couldn’t help but release this burden that I am in right now. I always sez to myself “just keep the faith and trust” but the flesh is weak and I don’t know how much long I can take this.


Monday, October 20, 2008

riadoxzeroseven



riadoxzeroseven

Rare is the moment
that I see someone like you
one that sticks in my head
in the form of thief rikku

I hurdle sea of fans
just to get an inch closer
knowing that you’re the real thing
made me felt better

Astonishment is what my face sez
and awe is what I felt
excitement lingers in my body
when you were finally near me

Difficulty in breathing
no words I can utter
the death angel was beside me
when off goes the shutter

On the next fateful day
when the convention opened its doors
i arrived rather late
but I knew who to look for

e
Xcitement filled the air
when everybody saw a geisha
a lovely death angel
disguised as yumi komagata

ZERO confidence was what I had
when I saw how beautiful she was
i approached her nonetheless
and felt her undying prowess

SEVEN in the evening
as I left the convention
a thought and a smile befell
because I finally, finally saw the death angel


editor's note: riadox is a phenomenal cosplayer here in the philippines, though i rarely see her nowadays in any convention since she's busy with her work. the picture above is her cosptrip as yumi komagata from the anime samurai X. the poem is specially made for her and am glad that she liked it and gave me the go signal to post it here.

Monday, October 13, 2008

cosmania '08


cosmania is a cosplay event that was held in SM megamall megatrade hall 3 last sunday, October 12. i had tons of fun and there were a lot of cosplayers and costrippers! to everyone that joined and those that organized this event, i thank you! see you next time on cosmania 09

for full range of pix, click here

Sunday, October 12, 2008

leaving the past to weave the present

in case you didn't notice, i've changed the color scheme of the site and most noticeably, the header.

from...

to

am sure you're askin why... well i guess, the title sez it all ^_^..
what do you guys think?


Saturday, October 11, 2008

heaven's teardrops


edits: curve
location: some subdivision in bulacan

[emotional]
look closer, i'm writhing in pain and i have no idea how to heal myself..
[/emotional]

Sunday, October 5, 2008

got balls!?


location: some subdivision here in bulacan
edit: primary red, contrast, brightness

i don't know if it's some kind of freak of nature but this particular tree had this thing on its bark. the word "got balls!?" is the only thing that kept on repeating in my head.

note: will this post qualify as a PG-13 post?

Saturday, September 27, 2008

ignorance is bliss



edits: none
location: nueva ecija
model: native kids

i just love the innocence of these kids! they have yet to experience some gadgets and technological advancements but they still find a way to have some fun..

Saturday, September 20, 2008

camouflage


edits: none
location: our (previous) home in bulacan

look closer, what can you see? i wanted to take a closer shot of this one but the "thing" up there refused to cooperate ^_^..

Sunday, September 14, 2008

i'm home


edits: none
location: expressway (NLEX - pulilan exit)

this site always signals that i am literally within minutes before reaching our home. i really love seeing this as it entails that i can finally rest after a hard day's work. i rarely get a glimpse of this establishment now that i've transferred to a new home
.

Sunday, September 7, 2008

jxmn IRL


edits: none
location: our home

i took this shot during the hype of the dark knight movie. i thought of editing the picture and give it the prosthetics that the joker had. a friend told me that the joker look and
attitude easily fits me. i dunno if that should complement or otherwise..

Sunday, August 31, 2008

sakura


edits: none
location: nueva ecija (i think)

sakura or cherry blossom is a japanese flower that blooms and lasts only for a couple of weeks (i think). japanese hold a tea celebration outside in order to celebrate and witness the fulll beauty of this majestic flower. now this picture ain't no sakura but i sssoooo wish that we have them here in the phlippines.

ps if any of you guys know the name of the flower above, just let me know or leave a comment.. thanks

Saturday, August 23, 2008

3 kings


edits: none
location: nueva ecija

i noticed that i've been lazy the past few months regarding post production. either that or i just don't see the need to add any digital mods on my shots.

on with the shot... these photo was taken at nueva ecija. me and my cousin thought of building this pile of stones just to pass the time and it ended up cool so i took a shot..

enjoy

Saturday, August 16, 2008

valhala


edits: none
location: towering mountains of nueva ecija
real life filter: my sunglasses

this shot was taken when we had our trip in nueva ecija. i was actually wearing my sunglasses and saw this site and the title just popped out of my head. this is one of the shots that i love and proud of since it really looked like you're close to heaven

Saturday, August 9, 2008

lovers


edits: none
location: some subdivision in bulacan

Sunday, August 3, 2008

eye in the sky


edits: light/shadow/tone
software: photoshop lightroom
location: bridge (bulacan)

this belonged to one of my first few shots using my nikon L18 and the experience was funny since a lot of bypassers are staring at me and watching what i am doing (considering the fact that i am not using a dSLR). and yes... those are electricity lines.

Thursday, July 31, 2008

the beauty of tranquility




edits: none
location: our old house
model: my sister

Saturday, July 26, 2008

all in a day's work



edits: none
location: bridge

8 hours of hard work is only worth a couple of plastic bags (of food) for some of us juan dela cruz. sad but it's the truth

Sunday, July 20, 2008

frozen in time


edits:
software: photoshop lightroom
aspect: lighting/shadows
this shot was taken when we had this freaking weather a couple of months ago and it just popped in my mind to "type" my name in the dew of the rain. hope it was visible enough

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

hancock failing the hype

I recently watched the movie hancock with poytspot a couple of days ago. I was excited with this movie that even at late march and early june, I’ve already set aside some dough to watch this movie in the theaters (playdate here in the Philippines was july 3). I’ve seen the commercials, the ads and the media hype that made me more anxious. Time passed and the weekends came, we watched this at a nearby mall and even fought for some good seats in the theater. The anticipation and excitement was there as the film rolled but as the story progresses, I became pretty much disappointed.

As usual, Will Smith was livin his role as hancock but it lacked the depth for a film tainted with such hype. Its good point though is that hancock ain’t your average “hero” plus it infuses the “light” humor as the story progresses.

Given the chance, will I watch hancock again in theaters or just download from torrent? I’m most certain that I will just rent this movie or download it in torrent when I need some descent movie that can make me somewhat laugh. IMHO, this is Will Smith’s second flop for a movie (the first one being I am legend).

Next stop, the dark knight. We’ll see if the joker will live up to its name.

Monday, July 7, 2008

making life a little complicated

Time and time again, I’ve proven to myself that I am the type of guy that gets easily bored with stuff, people and most especially relationships. Just when I thought that I found her, this syndrome, this plague automatically kicks into high gear to tempt to do some dirty deed….. yet again.

I blogged about the photographer numerous times in here and I really thought that we were having a great time (and we were). But there’s this something inside that’s screaming for something, something more. And from the depths of the messaging world came an SMS with a name oh so familiar to me (I’ve yet to think of a pseudonym for her). And from then on, we exchange messages on a frequent basis until it came to a point that we are starting a relationship and all of these are happening with the photographer on the sideline, clueless on what I am doing. Damn this twisted head of mine but I do enjoy this and I wouldn’t exchange it for anything else! Not to be an egotistical as I am, but I will try to catch another fish and we’ll see how it will fair.

As I told the jennesis when we had a conversation, I just love toying on other people’s emotion. I dunno… I guess it gives me the satisfaction that I can’t get on anywhere else. The thrill and the rush! I’ll use anyone, everyone and anything just to give me this pleasure and for my own benefit. Twisted indeed!

I kept on telling the photographer to refrain from saying daisuki da yo and/or ti voglio bene or hamisya/halabya. Not because I am not showy of my emotions nor I don’t like those words being sez to me. It’s just that when I finally know her true feelings, this will cause me to utterly lose interest in her (in a couple of days after toying with her for the last time) and ultimately leaving her without any notice (much like what happened to the insomniax, the jennesis and some other). The photographer is somewhat special because she is being backed up by my favorite cousin so I really have to try and behave.

This will sound like am so full of myself and egotistical but this has what I become after a couple of years of hiatus. I know it turned out bad but what’s important is that am enjoyin myself every now and then.

PS
Am seriously applying as sinackular’s disciple.

Friday, July 4, 2008

jexamine.inspiration = inspiration + 1

It’s been a while since I last had a critique on my compositions, though only a few elites had seen and read the masterpiece. Recently, I had a chat with the jennesis when I was asking her a favor. The jennesis is both a fan (as she puts it) and a major critic in some, if not all, of my sonnets. She recently read the eternia entry in this blog which was incidentally for someone with the same name as hers but with a different pseudonym. I asked her to compare the sonnets nowadays as opposed to the ones that I gave her way back and she bluntly sez that the old ones were better (by far). “how can this be!?” was my initial thought. And as if on queue, she answered me that the sonnets now lack the passion and sincerity that I once infused in it. Well, I do admit that some of the sonnets now were a bit monotonous and half-heartedly done but (as I sez 88 times) this is me at the moment – somewhat on a rage, disoriented and disconnected from the 3d world.

To remedy this dilemma, I asked the jennesis a favor: if I can borrow her again as my inspiration. This was a bold move but I thought that the only way to make things happen is to bring her back to my life again. She approved the idea but she also uttered “maybe this time around, my charms won’t work anymore”. I didn’t care anymore as long as I can regain my original form. Am hoping to give the piece to her today but as of now, I haven’t done anything – no titles, no scenario, no nothing. I fear that the jennesis’ word holds true. It’s as if I have nothing for her, like I dunno her or sumthing. Well, that maybe good before but definitely not now… I don’t wanna push the words in my next couple of sonnets because they are for a very, very important person(s) and she/they only deserves my best.


Editor’s note: the sonnet eternia was done with all the passion that I have. It just seems so plain and simple but the things there are the things that I miss the most now that I don’t have the jennylicious.

P.S:
sinackular is god! Can I be one of your disciples?

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

reality check

I had a week off at work last week thus the lack of updates here in this blog. The leave was a perfect timing since there had been a lot of happenings lately. Literally each and everyday, something new and somewhat exciting always happened.

For starters, last Monday was the feast of the saint john the Baptist in our neighborhood and it’s a tradition to literally throw and bombard innocent bystanders and passerby with water (like the ritual where john baptized jesus). We have this thing called Libad wherein a procession for the “saints and figurines” by the lake will be held (via boats known as bangka). It usually starts early in the morn (like 8 or 9 a.m.) and the saint will be carried back to dry land by noon. Then another procession will ensue routing all the way to the church. I have a couple of pictures of the feast and will post them here as soon as I got my own connection at home.

Last week also marks the purchase of my new desktop wwwoooooohhhhooo!! But this also means that I am flat broke! I was accompanied by poytspot as we purchased the desktop on another store in another city. That was the first time that I bought a somewhat customized PC and I was lost and I dunno what to do. Poytspot helped me to choose the parts and after a couple of hours, I have my new and improved desktop. I won’t go into details of the specs of this new baby but I’ll give you a hint – it’s powerful enough to handle photoshop lightroom (the very reason why I bought a pimped destop)

It has been a very, very busy and entertaining last week and now am back at the office (which sucks). I just gotta hold on a little bit longer, but until then it’s misery for me…

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

blackmage9’s article causing quite a rift in the cosplay community

One of the newspaper giants here in the Philippines recently interviewed the blackmage9 for her take on what it takes to be a standout cosplayer. The article was published both in print and on their site and quickly crawled its way on forums everywhere causing some minor flame and turmoil. I read the article wwwaaayyyy before it was posted in the community that I was in (cosplay ph) and never did I thought that a single article will cause so much distraught to the forums. Tons and tons of reply to the post were cast on their take on what the flaw(s) of the article was/were. Until the blackmage9 broke her silence and gave the low-down on what happened to the article (and am not gonna detail it here). Basically, the gist was she had no idea that the publisher would publish a separate article when she asked the blackmage9 certain questions regarding cosplay (let alone the title of the article).

Now, I respect very much the blackmage9’s take on things because that is how she sees it. We have different perspective on certain things and it is this differences that makes us human and this is what makes cosplaying fun. I guess what the community is hinting at is watch what you say because it will not affect only you but the whole community as well (especially having the status of the blackmage9). One of the major blows that were pinpointed in the community was cosplay being expensive (according to the blackmage9). I, for one, agree in this aspect with the blackmage9 but it doesn’t have to be as “expensive” as other people think. One can always use recycled materials and other stuff, you just gotta be resourceful. This point alone will drive the youngbloods away from the cosplay world instead of bringing them in. While the blackmage9 were born above us commoners (as I read from her deviantart), literally blood, sweat and tears were spent for her to be able to buy the things and accessories needed for her costume. This is the reason why she’s doing auctions and art commissions – to be able to spend her earnings on a hobby that she loves doing and is very passionate of.

All is well now and I hope the blackmage9 learn something from this ordeal. And I hope that she don’t stop from cosplaying/costripping.


Disclaimer: I am not one of blackmage9’s fanboy(s) nor one of the haters. I just wanted to share my sentiments on this issue. It would be a huge blow to the cosplay community (both us photographers and cosplayers) should the blackmage9 leave the scene. It will be a great shame if we are not to see the excellent craftsmanship and innocent face that is the blackmage9.

Monday, June 16, 2008

toycon 2008 aftermath

I recently attended the 7th Philippine toycon held at the SM megamall megatrade halls 2 and 3. this is the first time that I attended a toy and hobbyist convention and quite frankly and from my perspective, well…. I was disappointed. What I fear the most had happened – that the convention will be dominated by those western figures. Figures sold were mostly those justice league, star wars, batman and the likes. I only saw a couple of Japanese anime figs like deathnote and the meccha god’s known as the gundam saga. This prompted me to just sit on the presentation grounds as I am also there to see and hear the blackmage9 in person. I just sit there for roughly 2 hours awaiting the cosplay catwalk. For this convention, I have not taken a single photo of any of the cosplayers. This was the result of a couple of factors: 1. I arrived at the convention at roughly 2 pm and I’ve not seen any cosplayers upon my arrival. 2. I was major-ly disappointed on the figs that I saw.

As I wait for the cosplay catwalk, a couple of fellow-fan sitting behind me sez “this year’s toycon was a total disappointment” and I couldn’t agree with them more. Then the catwalk proper was officially underway and I finally, finally saw the blackmage9. I was also hoping to get a glimpse of the slumberdoll but it was not meant to be. The toycon’s cosplay catwalk marked the return of a couple of well-loved anime/movie characters. The incredible hulk, iron man, the joker (from the batman), jack scissors were all present but one of the highlights of the catwalk in my point of view was the crowd favorite hard gay cosplayer and the return of a visionaries (complete with music) cosplayer and it rocked!!! The catwalk made my day and those two exact fans sez “it’s a good thing that I didn’t go home (or I would’ve missed this great catwalk)!!” when the catwalk ended I decided to roam around for a couple of minutes in the hopes of seeing the riadox07 but instead I crossed path with blackmage9 and her sister orangeish (wtf! Talk about fate)… blackmage9 was in a hurry but a cosplayer managed to got a picture of orangeish (complete with her pose). I was literally in awe and starstruck by both of them that I forgot to take some pictures.. stupid me!!! T__T.

I only went on the first day of the convention since I didn’t saw anything worth spending my time or money on except for those wasabi toys (anime hats) which I bought for my lil’ sis. And just like that, the toycon 2008 ended.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

upgrades!

We went to a nearby mall to do some canvassing for a new PC. I will give my old one to my sis since she will most probably do a home-based work. We went to this area where we usually buy all our pc and tech gadgets and I was left in awe when I saw the units and most especially the prices. The generic ones that am looking for were now all gone and had been replaced by the branded ones that packs quite a punch. Having all those muscle power comes with some seriously, seriously steep price! I was planning to buy a intel core 2 duo pc with some serious graphix punch as I will be experimenting on adobe lightroom for this photography and photography blog. I mange to have a couple of leaflets and brochures but after I read their packages… well…. I was disappointed… disappointed because of either the price or the package itself. *sigh*. Hopefully I will find a decent price with an above average performance on the next couple of days…

still faceless?!

I finally found her! After days and nights of searchin, I finally found the faceless femme and she is in the place that I least expect her to be! She’s faceless no more but I’d like to keep her pen name as is. I bet you’re wondering how’d I knew that she was the one when I claim that she is faceless in my dreams. Well she was not totally faceless, I recognized her as I saw her here in the 3d world! She was all what I expected her to be here in the 3d world and she was the exact carbon copy of the one that was in my dream. What I felt for her in the dreamworld is the same as what am feeling every time I saw her, every time I have the opportunity for some quick and small talks. Each and every day, I am most looking forward to seeing her or just walking side by side. In a surreal turn of events, I managed to find out a couple of things about her including her name (her real name). My only wish now is that I can see her and talk to her on a continuous basis.

Daisuki da yo faceless femme!!!!!

I long for the day that I can call you mine!!!

Monday, June 9, 2008

the ordeal!! the ordeal!!!

I went to the dentist today for a new set of dentures as the one am wearing is now crappy. This is the second time that I went to a dentist and the first one went really, really well but for some reason, today’s visit was….. different. As the dentist called my name, I went in and sat on his dentist-ish chair. We were chattin and from my observation, this is his way to make the victims… eerrr patients feel at ease. I’ve no problem at all since this is my second session and we started the “tweaking process”. He pulled out my false teeth, a little touch here and there and voila! Afterwards he told me that he needs to clean and “restructure” the rest of my teeth needing some anesthesia to make them feel numb. Upon knowing this, I almost literally fainted! The dentist told me that I look like sh*t, like a half-dead something. I looked pale, like my blood was sucked out by a vampire. To put it simply – I did look like sh*t. after a couple of minutes or so, we resume the “massacre” but he told me that we’ll just skip the anesthesia part and just rake my teeth out. And so it was done – at one corner, a set of life-reducing and pain-inflicting dentist-ish tools and on the other side was a helpless and lifeless sets of teeth. The ordeal wasn’t so bad for I have a high threshold for pain. The “operation” went for more than 60 minutes and pppoooofff!! We are done! I still have to go back this coming Thursday for my new set of dentures to be put on m rotten mouth!

Note: am only doing this so I can have my dentures fixed for free! Yep! Accenture will pay for my brand spankin new dentures!

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

a visit – the second coming

Last night, I dreamt about this very mysterious girl whom I love so much (well… am assuming based on my dream). This is the second time that she visited me and the feeling just keeps on getting bigger and bigger. To my surprise, this girl was not the jennesis nor the photographer and not even the sampaguita. I don’t remember anything about her other that she’s shorter than me (in terms of height) thus I’ll be quoting her in this post as the faceless femme.

I had the most wonderful dream and it didn’t bother me if I never woke up again. It’s kinda hard to explain how I felt and what am feeling right now. After a long while, the faceless femme let me felt how good it is to be embraced by someone. To know that someone’s always there for you. Someone that made you feel that you are significant, that you are loved. The dream that I had lasted for only a couple of hours (roughly 3 hours to be more precise) and this might sound as a cliché but those 3 hours felt like eternity. Never did I think of waking up and leaving her… I soooooo wanna meet this faceless femme here in the 3d world but until then, I can only wait in the dreamland until we finally meet again and finally know her name and who she really is…

Aaaahhhhhhhh!!! My mind is going crazy right now!!! Am looking forward meeting you again tonight my faceless femme.

Monday, June 2, 2008

meeting with the photographer

last Sunday, the photographer and I finally see eye to eye. But before that, let us trace back the things that led to a series of unfortunate events.

Before I leave the office each and everyday, I make it a point to call her and talk to her since am so bored here. The last time we talked, she asked me to accompany her to this church thing entitled PREX. It’s basically a whole day event worth of talking to the pastor and reflecting. Eh?!?! I know that you must be laughing your assess off right now. How can a self-proclaimed devil go to such gathering?! I dunno if she just don’t get it or I dunno… she was very persistent in pursuing me but never did I fold until she finally gave up. I thought that my ordeal was over until she uttered the words “come to church with me this sunday”. I was like “wat da pak!?”. Are you sh**tin me?! We had a long conversation bout this one and I finally told her that I’ll think about it.

I dunno what happen last Saturday that led to me saying “yes! I will see you on Sunday”. Probably I was thinking that this is the moment of truth (and probably since I’ve nothing better to do)! The hour neared on Sunday and I’ve doubts whether to go or not but I eventually did. She saw me holding my camera (as usual) and I was in my snobbish-don’t-get-close-to-me attitude (wearing my poker face). We entered the church and then we left after the mass. I was like “thank god the mass was over”.

Should she asked again to go to church next time, ill stand firm on my answer… whatever it will be T__T.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

terminal

Terminal

Sa aking pagmuni-muni
Binabagtas ang sakayan
Sadyang di napansin
Isang bukod tanging nilalang

At sa akin ngang pag-upo
Ika’y aking nasilayan
At sa aking labi ay namutawi
Isang lihim na pagngiti

Habang lulan tayo ng sasakyan
Ika’y nakatulog ng d inaasahan
Pagtitig at paghanga ang nadama
Nang makita ang ‘yong inosenteng mukha

Sadyang napakabilis ng pangyayari
At ako’y nawala sa aking sarili
Nang magtama ang ating paningin
Wari ang puso ko ay naglihim

Sa pagbaba mo ng ating sasakyan
Mga mata’y ika’y sinundan
Sana ay bukas muli kang masilayan
Upang malaman ang iyong pangalan


Am sorry if some of you don’t understand this sonnet… I preferred to write it in my native dialect

my sassy girl goes western

The phenomenal Korean hit my sassy girl will now make its way to the western market – as a remake. Girl next door’s elisha cuthbert will play the girl’s role and jesse bradford as gyeon woo.

I dunno if this western remake will live up to the psych and success that the original has. But based on the forums that I’ve been in… well… let’s just say they are less excited with this film. I even heard someone saying he’ll just download the film via torrent. Haven’t watched the trailer myself so I can’t comment on this one but I think I’ll let this one pass or I’ll just stream or download this version of the movie…

Sorry elisha…

Monday, May 26, 2008

a conversation

I sent to the photographer the sonnet that I composed entitled marry me. We had a couple of exchange messages and what’s surreal bout them is that they are in a sonnet form. Enough about the gibberish, just read on….


the photographer’s response to the sonnet:

Your words had me soar
My heart was touched to its core
I feel like opening my door
So I could love you more

Uncertainty is what my mind says
Don't wanna be trapped in a love's mess
Will you promise that I'll be hurt less
If I'd answer you now with a yes?



My response:

words are blurry
am feeling uneasy
moment's uncertain
when to this lass i've fallen

i don't want you to open your door
until you know me some more
please don't say "i love you"
for i'll lose interest in you

don't say a yes
dont say a no
only answer this question
when you considered them all


devilish and arrogant ne!?

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

going up!?


This is the first picture that I took when I got a hold of my digital camera. This was shot at the condo of my cousin somewhere in quezon city. I just love the city at night! The glitz, the glamour and controversy befit such places. Guess which tower is that and from which place in quezon city?

Monday, May 19, 2008

final fantasy III demystified

After spending 30+ hours, I finally finished final fantasy 3 *crowd roars*!! I was struggling as to which job will be a match for the cloud of darkness (final boss battle). I had a series of job shifts and aimlessly leveling them up but in the end, I found the right combination to finish the job off: a party composed of a sage (black and white magic caster), summoner (to use bahamut and leviathan), geomancer (for terrain, non-elemental magic) and a knight. It was a hard-fought battle and to my surprise, the sage (the only member to be left standing) was the one that finishes everything. It was the least I expected as the intention that I had for the sage will be the main healer of the party. The biggest surprise was that I defeated the cloud of darkness with an item that does a damage of roughly 3k ^_^… when I had lost all hope (since 3 out of the 4 characters were lifeless), the last futile gesture that I thought was to throw one last bit of attack item then watch my last character to bite the dust. And then all of a sudden *kwing* *kwing*… well you get the idea.

This is the second RPG that I finished in my DS and I am currently into WEWY (the world ends with you). This game has some innovative and fresh approach on the gameplay and the best part is it’s not a turn-based rpg wwooohhhoooo!! Am also planning to download tons of rhythm-based game as this is the main reason why I bought NDS over PSP. Until kingdom hearts is to be released, it’s WEWY and rhythm-based games for me ^_^

Friday, May 16, 2008

photography – an expensive art?!

Whenever I mention to my buddies that I’ll shift into photography, they always sez “ayus yan dude! But it’s one expensive hobby!”. Is photography really an expensive art as they say!?

If this will be based on the equips that the pros use, then I would have to agree that this is one helluva expensive hobby. A dSLR camera itself is worth a brand new personal computer (or a new Playstation 3) and that doesn’t include the vast array of lenses (not to mention the tripods). So yeah! If we are to base on this fact, it is very, very expensive! But how come there are those that are only equip with a mere market-standard digital camera and yet they capture nearly as good as those dSLR(s)? These are the types of people that only need a camera and his/her imagination! They have this innate gift when it comes to expression, art, detail and capturing those moments that others would deem not worth of the patience. I’ve seen a couple of photo-blogs using their ixus(well, I guess it’s above market standard ^_^) or powershot digital cameras and I couldn’t believe that the shots were taken by just some mere digital camera.

I found out that instead of figuring out which type of lens to use, let your eyes and imagination do the shots for you. Let it run wild to produce a unique and fresh story of the shot that you took!

I’ve nothing against those who use SLRs (in fact, I want one myself ^_^). I’m just trying to make a point that photography need not be expensive as everybody’s saying.

Thursday, May 15, 2008

transmutation

I started blogging since college of 2002 thanks to my good friend thea and satsuki. I really enjoyed it a lot but after a couple of years, I stopped blogging. I stopped not because there is nothing more to write, I stopped because our net connection was cut down. Back then, DSL or broadband never reached our place thus no longer can I update my blog until I’ve forgotten about it.

A couple of months back, I started blogging again (thanks to the connection here at the office) to house all of my rantings and frustrations to this god-forsaken company that I am in. I’ve written a lot of angst and accomplished this blog’s purpose but as time goes by (and I can’t believe that am about to say this), I grew fond not of the company itself but by the company brought forth by the people that I worked here. A small circle of friends began to emerge slowly and I can’t believe that I am enjoying myself thus evolving the purpose of this blog.

This blog became the sanctuary of all those that I can’t say. This blog sez what I can’t speak in spoken words, showed the emotion that I was reluctant to reveal. This blog became the new haven of my stories, sonnets and stupid, cheesy stuff. It is in here that I introduced the very few entities that entered my on-going story and it is in here that I find strength when am lethargic. And now it will undergo yet another metamorphosis.

I’ve been to a couple of cosplay conventions and the initial plan was to be one – be a cosplayer. But that plan all changed when I became the guy behind the lens. When I got hold of my very first camera, I just can’t get enough of taking shots! There a lot of photoblog that I came about and what amazed me was the one that I saw yesterday. She’s no professional and she’s only using a digital camera (much like me), but her shots were jaw-dropping. She has a keen eye for artistry and detail (as my peer puts it) and the best of all is that she’s a Filipina… wooohhhoo… this just proves that you don’t need those expensive DSLRs to produce those stunning effects, your eyes are your best lens and experience is the best teacher (as everybody puts it).

It is now settled. This blog will be a photo-blog to house my shots and I’ll purchase a new domain from poytspot for my rantings slash emo entries. The metamorphosis will not be in effect until july or mid august so this is sorta heads up…

photo community, here I come!!

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

blocked…yet again!!

You read it right people! All of the websites that I deemed “helpful” and “educational” are now blocked (again!) here at the office thanks to the new and improved websense catcher… wtf!! Websites ranging from blogs (blgger and the likes, including this site) to forums (cospaly ph), from digital art to photography (deviantart) are now inaccessible. Humans are born resourceful and we have found a couple of proxy sites to bypass this friggin websense. But the thing about the proxies is that after a couple of days (2 days max), they will get caught and be blocked by websense. It’s like being added to the masterlist of the websense catcher thus being blocked. We are running out of proxies to use and I am about to go crazy!!

On a side note, things are looking great with the photographer but I am being tempted to toy with her…nnnoooooo!!! I must fight this urge whom many have fallen victim! I’ve been listening to scars of a failing heart by typecast when the thought occurred to me. The emo-nessu inside me plus the fact that the rainy season is upon us intensifies this motive.

Tasukete minna!! T___T

Sunday, May 11, 2008

alodia as one of the judges for m3 con!

Another con goeth and another con cometh! The 2008 mangaholix manga mania or simply put M3 is the next con to hit the mainstream here in the Philippines! Boasting a wide array of manga collections, both indie and official mangas, this is one event that a manga lover should not miss. Aside from the endless sea of stalls selling…uuhhmmm, well manga, there are also some side dishes that will entice everybody to have a good time. An on-the-spot drawing contest will be held as well as the ever-popular cosplay catwalk. One of the judges for the said catwalk is no less than the amazing alodia gosiengfiao (a.k.a edjie) – an artist slash cosplayer slash model that really knows her stuff! Aside from edjie, her friend slumberdoll (which I dunno the real name), will also have a piece of the action at m3. According to their blog, they will be selling some hardcopies of their photoshoots in various sizes. Slumberdoll is one of the persons that I idolize in the photography genre. She’s still in college and yet she produced stunning shots. If you don’t believe me, be there at m3 con and see her shots of edjie… they are all awesome!!

M3 will be held at SMX convention center near SM mall of asia at the end of May so better get revved up for another fun-filled event!

Sadly, I won’t be able to attend this particular con as I am saving some dough for the action figures to be bought at toycon. Meaning, I won’t have any pix of the cosplayer as well as edjie and slumberdoll. This is a once-in-a-blue moon encounter with both edjie and slumberdoll and am gonna miss it.. wwwwaaaaaahhhhh!!!!!

Friday, May 9, 2008

things to be done at my funeral

- no fuc*in make-up

- elegy choices
o hikari (orchestra)
o winter IV
o canon in d (orchestra)


- don’t tell any of my tropa(s) that I am deads except when they ask.

- Black casket (pero pag expensive kahit yung regular na lang)

- Ibigay ang NDS kay Masi

- Ang Ipod ay ibigay kay Tin

- Kay Coy ang PS2

- I saw heroes’ casket being covered with flag, I want mine to be enveloped by my akatsuki robe.

- Hayaan lang ang mga anime/action figs ko satabi ng PC… babalikan ko sila

- Give my final fantasy 8 necklace (griever) to jennylyn THE DAY AFTER my burial

- Huwag gagalawin ang PC para may magamit sila ate and Tin

- Wag galawin ang necklace na suot ko… isama ito hanggang hukay

- Sell my internal organs to have funds for the house

- Give my digital cam to eldest sister

- Babalikan ko si reggie to make his life a living hell


Note: if the recipients declined on the gifts I gave them (because they’re afraid), don’t sell them. Cherish them for I will visit them often

Sunday, May 4, 2008

nueva ecija

I went on an excursion a couple of days ago to somewhat alleviate me from the impending boredom brought forth by the long weekend. I went to nueva ecija – home of the natives and freakishly huge, huge guavas. I’ve no idea about their specialty or famous landmark but those are the things that I remembered the most.

During the trip, I asked myself “will the 3-4 hour trip to nueva ecija be worth it?”. Midway to the extraction point, I wasn’t disappointed at what I saw. I was literally one with the towering mountains! And of course, having the digital camera, I took a lot of shots. One of the reasons for this trip is to mainly explore and practice my “photography skills” and see if I got the “touch”. Arriving at the destination, a crystal clear, free-flowing rapid of the lake beckons right before my very eyes! I was so psyched that I immediately scour the place to look for the perfect backdrop! 80% of my stay on the place was spent on taking nothing but fantastic photos both of the panoramic view and the locals. The other 20% was for the exploration and bathing on the rapids.

As I was taken by the place, my mind poked at me telling me to stay there either for a couple of months or for good. This was mainly because of the simplicity of their lifestyle. Sure they don’t have the towering skyscrapers but who needs them when you’ve got the whole mountain for yourself. They don’t have any malls or convenient store but who needs them when you can literally pick the up the foods that you want. And they most definitely not have any technological gadgets but my digital camera will suffice and I’ll never get tired of capturing the shots brought forth by the atmosphere. I already asked a local there (though on a friendly banter) if they are willing to help me should I decide to stay there. Surely enough, their reply was “we will take you and feed you should you decide to stay here.” I told this fact that am thinking to the photographer. I told her head-on that if I’d stay there either for a couple of months or for good, will she be sad. And she expressed her thoughts on my take on things and pour her emotions on what I told her and the rest was an evening of emotional sh*t.

I decided to head back home together with the experience that was well worth of the 4-hour trip.

Saturday, May 3, 2008

jennylicious part II

as promised, here's the sonnet that i wrote for the jennylicious ^_^.. i managed to get her go signal to post it here.. a trivia regarding this sonet, the original title of the sonnet is supposed to be jennylicious but was altered to etenia in the last minute ^__^.. this sonnet was composed by me to her... especially for her.. enjoy

Eternia

It’s been a while
Since I last heard your voice
Posing a threat and dominance
As if I had no choice

It has been a while
Since I last heard your laugh
As if telling everything’s ayt
And that we don’t give a fuck

It has been a while
Since our last huddle
All those points and pep talks
Saying “we can pull this off together”

It has been a while
And am missing you so
Even those times when you sez
“dude! Ang buraot mo!”

It’s been eternity
Since we last argue for a user call
When you was on the enhancement team
I was thanking them all

It has been a long time
Since I last uttered these words
“I appreciate everything you do
respect, love and thanks is all I have for you”

Sunday, April 27, 2008

jennylicious!!

A colleague here at the office saw this blog and she was utterly shocked when she read the entries. She couldn’t believe that I can write all these stuff and she was even more surprised to know that I can compose a sonnet! As a challenge (and proof that I myself write these entries here), she told me to make a sonnet for her – a sonnet especially for her. I had the most difficult time figuring out what to write – the mood, the emotion and the setting. Then, while in the shower, the words “it’s been a while” just kept on repeating in my head and I just thought about her since it’s been more or less 3 months since I last saw her. Then one thing led to another and the culmination of everything was eternia – my latest sonnet made for her…

I just gave her the sonnet and asked for permission if I can post it here. Once I get approval, I’ll post it immediately.

Btw, if you’re wondering bout the title, jennylicious is her pen name ^_^

Saturday, April 26, 2008

life through a digital glass

I am so obsessed with the new digital camera that I just had and I immediately planned and schedule a “photoshoot”. I thought of capturing some natural and candid shots that expresses how I felt at that certain time. Then it was settled: the location was at the bridge, subject was the sunset and the everyday juan dela cruz passing by and the time was roughly 5 p.m. Upon arriving at the bridge, I immediately saw a perfect shot with a perfect backdrop. I was astounded as I didn’t expect that to happen so sudden. It was some leaves/tress with the backdrop of our enormous lake. I’d like to blur on the leaves but it was not to be done on the digital camera that I have. The location of the setting sun wasn’t the one that am looking for thus I had to improvise. I wanted a shot similar to those mushy movie where the sun is setting in the middle of the ocean. But in my case, the setting sun was way off the center but it’s beautiful nonetheless. I got a few nice ones (well at least in my own opinion) while experimenting on the settings. Different settings yielded different results (ddduuuhhhh) so I just took shots using different settings to see which one’s the best. A couple of passerbies are staring at what am doing as this (photoshoot) wasn’t done on a regular basis (like what I mentioned, photography here is not a profession). Then this phrase just came out of nowhere “a long day’s work” that inspired me to capture a shot of those who are passing by. I have this one shot with a mother and his child but the one that I liked was manong carrying loads of I dunno what. Hopefully I can post them here so I can show you guys what I’ve been upto and so you can say the stuff about the shot that I took.

Next stop… sunrise at the bridge ^__^…

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

a window to a new and better perspective

After 88 years worth of waiting, I finally got my claws on my very own digital camera. This is the very first photography equipment that I OWN. The digital camera that I bought ain’t that high-end nor spectacular but at least now that I own one, I can just take some pictures away whenever I deemed necessary!

Upon receiving this early Christmas gift, I took a shot of the cybergate tower and I was satisfied with what I had (with regards to the shot and how the camera took it). It’s no DSLR but I wanna use this camera as if it was one. I wanna maximize the cam’s functions and use it to its fullest. The shots that I will have will most certainly suffer (concerning with the lighting and stuff) but am planning to take a couple of shots in different angles. I played with the cam’s exposure and the different flashes for me to see which setting will fit the scenario that I have in mind. Am planning to take some sunrise/sunset shots on the following weeks and we’ll just see how it will turn out. Am planning to hone my skill on this genre (even with a digital camera in hand) and hopefully I can venture more on this department. Photography here in the Philippines ain’t considered as a profession as compared to other places but this is what I want to do (for the moment).

Here’s the cam that I bought (and is yet to be paid)… I like the wide 3-inch display.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

The possibility of fallin for the one you don’t know

Time and time again, this fatal mistake had been constantly being made. In the first place, why fall for someone that you haven’t met, someone you don’t know? What is the probability of fallin for someone you don’t know (probably high) and what is the possibility and certainty that it will last?

From this day onwards, I will officially share to you a new entity in my story and I gave her a pen name of the photographer.

A completely unknown and insignificant life form, the photographer was given by my loving cousin and I thought “I’d give it a shot. I’ve nothing better to do..”. Frightfully slowly, she slithered her way in my life and making her presence felt in every single moment that I can think of. I fell for her friendly and playful manner, her caring and concerned character, her outgoing and onii-chan attitude. As evident from the handle that I gave her, she has this innate talent when it comes to photography but failed to pursue it during her days but is now rekindled due to the frequent talks that we had. The photographer also shares the same talent as I do when it comes to writing. Other than the jennesis, insomniax and sampaguita, she is the only entity that I shared my sonnets with and was deeply appreciated. Those sonnets meant everything to me because they hold what I care the most in my heart. They encompass what my thoughts are, how I feel and the struggles am fighting and for me to share those stuff to someone, they must be one important entity or one that I hold so dear. I just love it when she checks if am home or if I’ve already eaten or how’s my sleep. These simple and stupid things somehow and someway meant something to me… the only missing in the photographer’s asset is her ability to like anime and Japanese culture… in due time, I will introduce her to that fantastic world via the toycon 2008!

kira: am so damn lazy… dunno what to do anymore…
the photographer: Think of something that will inspire or motivate you..
kira: hhmmm… in that case, for me to be inspired and motivated, you gotta stay in my head a little bit longer deal!?
the photographer: hhhmm.. it’s upto you how long I will stay on your mind…
kira: will that option include forever?!


I know, I know… it’s cheesy!! Especially for a guy like me but I got carried away in the conversation >__<…