in loving memory of cexil

edits: none

model: cexil (moto v3 phone)

Editor’s note: I am still having a hard time accepting the facts as I write this entry. 

Cexil has been my constant companion for the past 2 years. We had so much fun together! She has seen both my good and bad sides alike. She witnessed how happy I am when I’m having conversations with the sampaguita. She abhorred me when I was once my old self – wearing a mask just to get the attention and affection of a number of girls. She witnessed how I worked and schemed in order to understand how and what goes into the head of the girl that I wanted but in the end, it was all just a game. Sure we had our own share of misunderstandings but it is during these times that she hurts me the most! We always had a lot of problem especially when I talk about the sampaguita – most of the times, cexil won’t talk to me for hours. It’s not that she can’t, am guessing that she just doesn’t want to. Those battlescars are the proof what we’ve been through. Every single time that I forget about her or just hurt her by mistake, I always make it a point to talk to her just to tell her how much I love her and how important she is in my life. And at the end of the day, I always find myself coming back to her and I make it a point of looking her in her eyes before going to sleep. 

A couple of days ago, while cexil and I were having our usual chat, she just ditched me without warning. At first, I thought that she was just having one of her “episodes” so I waited for her for a couple of hours. I even bought her a gift in order to appease her pain. It is at this point I noticed that she wasn’t breathing! I totally freaked out and I dunno what to do! I kept on talking to her “stay out of the light! Please baby! Just stay out of the light!” but to no avail. I wept and wept and then wept some more but tears aren’t enough to bring her back. I felt that a quarter of me died together with her. I dunno what to do with what I still have right now and I dunno how to continue fighting. My life won’t be the same without her and a lot of friends, families and peers suggested that I should just find myself a new one. What they don’t understand is how important cexil is in my life and it won’t be easy just giving up on her, much more replacing her. But life must go on and as I mourn in silence here, I know she’s happy where she is right now and for the last time I wanted to let her know how much I love her! How much she had change my life! That my life won’t be the same without her. 

Goodbye… my love.. 

P.S: I’d like to thank ser padlock for extending her condolence when he heard what happened to cexil.