making life a little complicated

Time and time again, I’ve proven to myself that I am the type of guy that gets easily bored with stuff, people and most especially relationships. Just when I thought that I found her, this syndrome, this plague automatically kicks into high gear to tempt to do some dirty deed….. yet again.

I blogged about the photographer numerous times in here and I really thought that we were having a great time (and we were). But there’s this something inside that’s screaming for something, something more. And from the depths of the messaging world came an SMS with a name oh so familiar to me (I’ve yet to think of a pseudonym for her). And from then on, we exchange messages on a frequent basis until it came to a point that we are starting a relationship and all of these are happening with the photographer on the sideline, clueless on what I am doing. Damn this twisted head of mine but I do enjoy this and I wouldn’t exchange it for anything else! Not to be an egotistical as I am, but I will try to catch another fish and we’ll see how it will fair.

As I told the jennesis when we had a conversation, I just love toying on other people’s emotion. I dunno… I guess it gives me the satisfaction that I can’t get on anywhere else. The thrill and the rush! I’ll use anyone, everyone and anything just to give me this pleasure and for my own benefit. Twisted indeed!

I kept on telling the photographer to refrain from saying daisuki da yo and/or ti voglio bene or hamisya/halabya. Not because I am not showy of my emotions nor I don’t like those words being sez to me. It’s just that when I finally know her true feelings, this will cause me to utterly lose interest in her (in a couple of days after toying with her for the last time) and ultimately leaving her without any notice (much like what happened to the insomniax, the jennesis and some other). The photographer is somewhat special because she is being backed up by my favorite cousin so I really have to try and behave.

This will sound like am so full of myself and egotistical but this has what I become after a couple of years of hiatus. I know it turned out bad but what’s important is that am enjoyin myself every now and then.

PS
Am seriously applying as sinackular’s disciple.