second life, second chance…

Edits: none
Location: nueva ecija

Sorry for the lack of updates the past few days and for not answering some comments both on the post and on the tagboard.

I almost died a few weeks ago and I’m currently recuperating… Picture this – pizza, movie and unconscious body lying in the bathroom. Scary isn’t it!? Well that’s exactly what happened. I had a serious misunderstanding with my folks early in the morning that pissed me. I then decided to hangout on my cousin’s pad just to breathe, catch some fresh air and think. I always, always have some fun when I’m with them. Late in the afternoon, we decided to watch some dvd just to pass the time. I was there, lying on the floor and eating pizza, enjoying the movie together with my cousins when I decided to go to the bathroom. I felt light-headed at this point then….. total blackout! oblivion! Darkness! It’s as if I was blinded. Mere words cannot comprehend what I felt and what I had gone through. I somehow managed to open my eyes but everything’s blurry. I had no idea where I was and it’s as if it was the first time that I opened my eyes. I hurriedly looked for the door and my cousins were in utter shocked when they saw me. They told me that they heard a thunderous thud while I was in the bathroom and that they were knocking on the door. Frightened and concerned, they dunno what to do, what to say and what to feel. This is the first time that this sh*t happened to me and frankly I was surprised myself. At that time, I kept on telling god (because I really felt that I was dying) “please, please dear god can you at least extend my life? There’s a reason for me to live and fight now! She needs me and I made a promise to her. Please dear god, not now! There are still some things that I need to do but if this is indeed my time, my last wish will be for liezl to be happy – to be alright. I wish that their lives will be ok, that I will bear all their problems and take them with me in my grave.” I kept on repeating these words over and over again and even in my condition, I managed to send a couple of SMS to liezl. Then it hit me, I realized that I must live and fight in order to not break my promise to her. I fought the urge of throwing up and falling to sleep with just liezl in my mind.

I was rushed in the ER as soon my body can take it and the doctor told us that it was due to anxiety. They also found something else – that I have a 19,000 white blood cell count. What does that mean? Well, it basically tells us that I maybe a candidate for having a leukemia in the near future (I think). The normal white blood cell count will be within the 10,000 range and 15-,000 - 17,000 white blood cell count for anemic dudes (I think).

Against all these odds, I’ll still live and will continue to fight. I will cherish every second, every moment with liezl for she is the reason why am still fighting right now… why am still alive…

The rapids

Edits:none
Location: nueva ecija

Every once in a while, there comes a time in everybody’s life when he feels so down, depressed and utterly a loser.

Well due to the current financial crisis, I was left without a job a few days ago and I am a certified bum right now! And as if it that wasn’t enough, I’ve got another concern here at home that stabbed right into my chest. It’s a good thing that the jexamine is always by my side during this time of my life to avoid any nervous breakdown. It is only with her that I can show my true emotions – with her, I can share all of my struggles and frustrations. I can feel the warmth with every touch, I can feel the concern with her every words and I can feel the love with every hug. Is it even fair to be this happy when I am this sad?

With regards to my work, I just see this as one of the rapids in my life that will ultimately lead to those calm rivers. I have this vision that this is just a sign from god that I should focus on the things that he especially made me to do. That I should use the talent he gave me and not put them into waste. With that said, web design world beware for I will be entering the playing field!

Driver software vault

Looking for the drivers for your motherboard or printers? Or maybe that critical update for your video card to really spice things up? If you’re like me that throws around literally everything, then you probably don’t know where you put the drivers for all of your stuff.

Just recently, my cousin lent me a copy of the grid game for the PC. I was so psyched to try it here at home since the graphics and car physics that I saw at his desktop were jaw dropping. When I finally got home, I was so disappointed at what I saw (after installing the game). Framerate sucks, graphics were waaayyyy below par and loading took ages. He then suggested to upgrade my nvidia drivers and see if it will take any effect on the game.

I am also looking for an update for my motorola drivers that will allow me to do something more with my cexil (Motorola v3). Yyeesss!! You read it right! Cexil came back!! I was so happy and never will I leave her side again!

File association prob

With all the new programs available out there either via download (direct or torrent) or purchase, we tend to have a handful of software that we rarely know what to do. What’s worst is that these software actually mess up which files open with what program. Right now, this is the dilemma that I am having. I have multiple programs that does the same thing and it’s becoming really annoying thinking about which of them should open a specific file type. This could have been avoided if only I just stayed at what I have. I mean I installed tons and tons and tons of programs just to be “in” and just to “go with the flow” and now my desktop is all messed up! I am thinking of reblasting my desktop but I am really concerned of the files that I haven’t backed up yet. I have certain file extensions that I dunno which program can open- File Extension BIN, File Extension DLL. Good thing though that I have a copy of utorrent that I used to open those File Extension TORRENT.

I am still having a hard time whether to do a reformat or not. Any suggestions?

for the love of my jenny

Edits: none
Model: jenny

Never did it occur to me that it’s possible for me to get close to someone in just a matter of days. As most of you know, I’m a man of few words and my people skills are below average. But when jenny and I met, I somehow felt that we’ll be together for a long time. I first took a stroll with her a couple of months back and I was reluctant to include her into my already boring world. When I first held her hand, I felt a sudden tremble in my palm – a feeling that I never felt for the longest of time. From that day on, I never let her hand go. Every single morning, I talk to her to prepare her for the day’s torment. She always answers with a smile in her eyes. She’s always with me, she accompanies me on my way to work and she’s always there to see me off. During night time, especially on those stressful days, when I finally arrived at our subdivision, her face is the first thing that am looking for. Just having the pleasure of seeing her after a long day is enough to make me smile. We’ll then have a romantic night stroll with both of us looking at the stars, thinking and dreaming of our future.

When I grow old and stopped blogging, I will still want to hold her hand. I can and never will replace her. She has etched her name in numerous parts of my body and it is hard to deny the fact that we are of the same heart. I’ve already lost my cexil and I’ll do everything I can to keep my jenny!

“I kept myself busy all the time. But at night time when there’s nothing more to do, I always think of jenny. I think about her a lot!” –forest gump

Post-holiday dilemma

I really, really want it so badly to purchase them plasma or LCD TV last Christmas season. But it has been seven days into the new calendar year and we are still yet to have one. So we turned our attention to the next best thing – cable tv! We scoured different cable providers here in our town and we’ve already chosen one… that was until I came about this DirecTV website.

The website offers step-b-step guide on how to apply for your very own DirecTV deals. They have a vast array of DirectTV offers that ranges from movies, sports and HD programs to name a few. Their services range from a single room to 4 rooms so you are sure to get your viewing pleasure.

Until we obtain our plasma TV, then cable will be my best buddy for now. Sleepless nights worth of 24 hours of viewing pleasure, here I come!

I need this! I need this!!

I had my red alert 3 dvd for the longest of time and up until now, I haven’t played it. Not because I can’t but because the game freezes after a couple of minutes. I was so psyched when I purchased the game that I didn’t bother on having dinner after I got home. Sheer excitement lingered in my body only to find out the inevitable disappointment at the very end. My cousin told me to either return the game itself or buy a new dependable computer memory. Now don’t get me wrong, my desktop now packs a 1 gigabyte RAM but I feel that he’s right if I am to take my gaming to the next level. Am thinking of getting either one of Sun memory or Cisco Memory to ensure the quality of the RAM that I’ll be buying.

Until I get my claws on those brand new memory, I’ll just be waiting here, weeping and crying on the agony and dilemma that I have now… *sad*