taking flight?

During my early days, I tried to venture outside the country and seek other opportunities elsewhere, namely Singapore… I’ve been there once to survey the local and the culture and I fell in love to the place… when I left Singapore, I made a vow that I will return someday and stay there for good! Weeks pass, then months, then years, until the desire eventually laid low and had been dormant in my heart.

Last Sunday, an unexpected question were asked by my folks, “when will you be venturing overseas!?”. Something just sparked and I just muttered “if you’d like, am gonna leave tomorrow.”, in a playful banter. “Why all of these all of a sudden!?” was the thing that kept repeating in my head. And as if on queue, the folks sez “we are not getting any younger, the business aint doing so good, we have enough for food but we haven’t got any to finish the house.”. I didn’t know what to say to them… it just ended with that last phrase… that last phrase that had been playing over and over again in my head. I eventually had a trouble dozing off and kept thinking over and over again. Am confused not only what to do in this dilemma but more importantly, I dunno what to do with this garbage of a life that I have!

I have the impending resignation to the company and because of what transpired, am having these doubts that maybe I shouldn’t file the resignation just yet. That I need this job a little longer. Truth be told, this job ain’t gonna build the house for sure! The job only provides solution to the basic expenses but if you look at it, am losing valuable time that I can use to do something productive.

I dunno what else to do! Can somebody just kill me? Please!! Am dead serious!