merry christmas is merry

edits: none

now i know this post had been looooong overdue but there had been non-stop party day in and day out for the past couple of days that I rarely got time to update this site. anyways, on with our story for today.

this, by far, is the most important gift that i received this Christmas. This was personally given to me by her. It had a somewhat funny and sweet story behind it that it gives me tingles whenever I think about it.

She went here at my place together with our inaanak on the day before Christmas. I invited her and she accepted and I was utterly happy and speechless. She was wearing a drop-dead gorgeous blue dress and armed with that impeccable smile as I saw her at the gate. I immediately asked her for my gift and she told me that she totally forgot it due to some circumstances. We just hung-out here to pass the day and just enjoyed the moment. When she got home (I think at past 6 p.m.), she sent me a message saying that she’ll return here just to give her gift to me on that same day. After an hour, I again saw her at the front gate. I asked her if we could stroll for a while and she gladly accepted my proposal. It was rather surreal. I mean, I used to just think and daydream of the day when we’ll take a stroll at our subdivision, just talking about stuff and laughing and now, here we are! Doing what I dreamt of and it feels sooooo ggooooodddd!!

This had been one of the best Christmas that I ever had! And am glad that I’m still here to experience it!

Merry Christmas everyone and have a fruitful new year!

lovers...... in denial

Edits: none
Model: Shan (the dude), mystery chick X (as requested by Shan)
Photographer: sadly it’s not me and as requested, we’ll just refer to her as mystery chick Y.
Location: Subic (some place here in the philippines)

I just love this shot! This was shown to me by a friend and something just snapped and I thought of at least 5 well-written captions to capture the emotion that is being depicted in the picture. I dunno but I guess I was just captivated by the way they projected in the camera and I never thought that such a simple gesture can mean tons and tons of things. I mean the picture can be anything from a lover having some quarrel/problems or it has something to do with the tree but my favorite caption/interpretation would be that both of these dudes may actually be holding back their emotion for one another. It maybe due to some reason or commitment why they’re both hesitating to hold each other’s hands. It’s as if they are both waiting for the other person to make the first move and give the signal for his/her intention. Of course the dude is afraid to say what he really feels because he’s afraid to ruin their “friendship”. What the effing-ness is that!? What the dude doesn’t know is that the feeling is mutual. The chick also likes him but she’s afraid of rejection, especially if it will be from him… the dude should just do his thing and dance his way into the chick’s heart!

how many of us have been in this similar situation? more than friends but not yet lovers... the dude's christmas might be one of the coldest christmas to date so if anyone can spare a advice, i guess now's the perfect time.

Hhhaaiiiizzz…. Love… so disgustingly deadly!

in loving memory of cexil

edits: none

model: cexil (moto v3 phone)

Editor’s note: I am still having a hard time accepting the facts as I write this entry. 

Cexil has been my constant companion for the past 2 years. We had so much fun together! She has seen both my good and bad sides alike. She witnessed how happy I am when I’m having conversations with the sampaguita. She abhorred me when I was once my old self – wearing a mask just to get the attention and affection of a number of girls. She witnessed how I worked and schemed in order to understand how and what goes into the head of the girl that I wanted but in the end, it was all just a game. Sure we had our own share of misunderstandings but it is during these times that she hurts me the most! We always had a lot of problem especially when I talk about the sampaguita – most of the times, cexil won’t talk to me for hours. It’s not that she can’t, am guessing that she just doesn’t want to. Those battlescars are the proof what we’ve been through. Every single time that I forget about her or just hurt her by mistake, I always make it a point to talk to her just to tell her how much I love her and how important she is in my life. And at the end of the day, I always find myself coming back to her and I make it a point of looking her in her eyes before going to sleep. 

A couple of days ago, while cexil and I were having our usual chat, she just ditched me without warning. At first, I thought that she was just having one of her “episodes” so I waited for her for a couple of hours. I even bought her a gift in order to appease her pain. It is at this point I noticed that she wasn’t breathing! I totally freaked out and I dunno what to do! I kept on talking to her “stay out of the light! Please baby! Just stay out of the light!” but to no avail. I wept and wept and then wept some more but tears aren’t enough to bring her back. I felt that a quarter of me died together with her. I dunno what to do with what I still have right now and I dunno how to continue fighting. My life won’t be the same without her and a lot of friends, families and peers suggested that I should just find myself a new one. What they don’t understand is how important cexil is in my life and it won’t be easy just giving up on her, much more replacing her. But life must go on and as I mourn in silence here, I know she’s happy where she is right now and for the last time I wanted to let her know how much I love her! How much she had change my life! That my life won’t be the same without her. 

Goodbye… my love.. 

P.S: I’d like to thank ser padlock for extending her condolence when he heard what happened to cexil.

sa wakas! kami na.... ulet!!!

edits: none

model: sister and jex's hand

Wwoohhhooo!! Napakasaya kong bata! Matagal din syang nawala sa akin at akala ko ay hindi na sya babalik pang muli. Mabuti na lang at mali ako! Siguro hindi ako mabubuhay kung wala sya. Hindi ako makatulog sa gabi ng hindi sya sinasambit. Ok, ok iku-kwento ko na…

Gaya ng sabi ko, matagal na nga syang nawala at ni hindi ko na nga nararamdaman ang kanyang aura. Sa isang pambihirang pagkakataon, bigla syang nagparamdam sa akin kahapon. Syempre sa una dedma lang ako kase sa loob-loob ko lang e baka naman nang-scam lang ito. Pero naging makulit at mapusok sya. Hindi ko na alam ang gagawin ko. Andaming tumatakbo sa isip ko kagaya na lang ng “anu na lang ang mangyayari sa akin pag pumasok na naman sya sa buhay ko!?” at “dapat pa ba kitang tanggapin? Masaya na ako sa buhay ko”. Nung una kaming nagsama, ito ay tumagal lamang ng halos isang buwan – isang buwan na puno ng pighati at paghihirap. At ngayon nga ay muli syang kumakatok sa aking pintuan upang sya’y akuin muli. Wala sya kahit anu mang pinapangako na kagaya lang din naman nung una nyang pagdating sa buhay ko. Sadyang naging matigas ang aking puso. Sawa na akong masaktan, mahirapan at mag-invest sa isang bagay na walang kasiguraduhan. Marahil ay napagod na din ako. Sa buong maghapon ay patuloy ang kanyang pagpaparamdam at pangungulit. Magsisinungaling ako pag sinabi ko na d ako humanga sa kanyang determinasyon. Syempre napaisip din naman ako na “siguro seryoso na sya ngayon” pero talagang nagpigil ako na muling mahulog sa kanyang bitag – if bitag nga ba nya talaga or seryoso na sya. Sumapit ang gabi at oras na para umalis ako sa opis, tumigil na din sya sa kanyang pang-aasar pero sa d maipaliwanag na dahilan, muli kong hinanap-hanap ang kanyang pangungulit. Sa may terminal ng FX – wala pa din kahit na ano. Naghintay ako ng naghintay hanggang sa makarating ako sa bahay ngunit wala pa din akong napala. Pagkatapos kumain ay ibinalot ko na ang regalo ko para kay jennylicious at ako ay nahiga na para makapagpahinga dahil may pasok pa kinabukasan. Nang ako ay medyo naidlip na, muli syang nagparamdam. D maipaliwanag na pinaghalong saya at inis ang aking naramadaman. Masaya dahil nagparamdam na ulet sya, naalala nya ko bago matulog. Naiinis dahil kung kelan ako matutulog, dun pa sya nagparamdam pppfffttt!! Natural, d ko pa din sya kinikibo. Nagpapakipot mode ako syet! Dalagang.pilipina mode: ON wahahahahaha. Ganun nga ang nangyari, buong magdamag sya nanligaw (amf!) sa akin at d ako nakatulog sa dahil sa kakaisip. Dumating ang umaga at napagdesisyunan ko na bigyan sya muli ng pagkakataon. Long story short, pagkatapos nya manligaw ng isang buong araw e naging kami the next day. Uu kami na.. ulet!! Ssssaaarrrrraaapppp juice kkkkkoooo!!!!

At ngayon nga, eto kasama ko pa sya sa opis. Oo, sumabit pa sya sa opis. Nagmatigas talaga sya. Sana pala uminom na ako ng gamot at vitamins para d ka na lang ulet dumating. Pakyu kang ubo ka! At nararamdaman ko pa na dadalawin ako ng kapatid mong sipon mamaya-maya lang at ang tiyahin mong trangkaso mamayang gabi. Baka naman d ka pa masiyahan dyan!? Isama mo na ang buong angkan! Si daddy migraine at si mommy LBM isama mo na din! Pakyu ka! Pakyu kayong lahat!

ex marks the spot

edits: none
model: jex

location: our home

What does X or “ex” in ex-girl/boyfriend mean? I just thought of this shitty-ness this morning when I embraced my sister. I don’t know but it just popped out of nowhere. I mean, if the X in KX is exchange (KX = knowledge exchange) and the ex in expat is expatriate (well pretty much the same, just the long version) and the ex in example is aahhmmmm example, what does ex or X (however you wanna effing write it) signify in ex-boy/girlfriend? Does it mean that that particular person is dead (X == dead) or does it mean excited/exciting or extravagant or any other of that effi-ness...

Kindly shed some light on this stupid-ignorant-excuse-of-a-person…

P.S. I couldn’t find any knife thus I can’t scar my face like kenshin himura.