the missing piece

edits: none
photo: provided by shan

Breathing should be mundane not only for me, but for everybody else. But I somehow grew weary of doing what is second-nature. Deprived by the needed supplement, my consciousness drifts afar while I hesitantly listen to the bittersweet melodies of marc enfroy. My heart desperately tries to mutter numerous scrawled words in order to awaken the deep trenches of my soul. When my wandering consciousness crossed paths with the unyielding echoes in my heart, they forge a harmonic euphoria that instantly became my lullaby. As I catch my forty winks, a reel of images and scenarios played in my head in an endless loop forcing my mouth to twitch and show that ever-elusive smile.

The perfectly mapped-out grass-laden fields bear witness as we laze around, side by side, our hands clutching the other, with our heads facing the heavens. You haven’t spoken a word since I got there and neither did I. It’s not simply because we can’t but rather we both opted not to. Sometimes, those unspoken words and little gestures are more than enough for us to convey what we wanna say to each other.

The sudden cool breeze prompted you to stretch out your left hand and point towards the vast heavenly bodies. A moment of solitude passes by with the cool zephyr unable to ease the tension that I feel. I then realized that I was frozen, I was petrified in an unthinkable manner. A crystal tear dropped from my eye making both my vision and world hazy. It is by this time that I can feel you tightening your grip. I can feel the warmth that your hand emanates and the softness of your palm rushing from the external within. By this simple gesture, by this simple touch, are you saying “Don’t fret! I’ll be by your side.”? What was once a simple drop of tear became an endless flow of emotions drenching from my cheek down. I opened my mouth but no words came out. I tried to think so as to decode what’s going on but my already exposed emotions have gotten the best of me. Needless to say, hell’s crushing my chest – starting with the most essential yet fragile part. Difficult as it is, I found myself turning away from the panoramic scenery and closed my eyes, anticipating and knowing what was inevitable. In the midst of this emotional frenzy, of this paranoia, you loosen your grip on my hand and before I knew it, I found myself enveloped in your arms. Both you and I know what’s happening and what’s gonna come but you still chose to wear your worn-out façade to lay everything in secret. Is this your way of saying “Leave out all the rest. It’s just you and I so let us live… even for this moment.”?

You! Are you listening? Yes you! The one with the beautiful face, the one with the contagious laugh, the one with a steadfast viewpoint. You with the impeccable charm, you that had been and still is being tested by the world, you that I hold the dearest, you that I love above any else. You that is my future, you that I wanna give my best self. Yes you! I’m talking to you! This piece is for you – all of it.

You very much knew how I fumble on delivering those pick-up lines and the same thing can be said for those cheesy stuffs that I said but……

-to be continued-