making life a little complicated

Time and time again, I’ve proven to myself that I am the type of guy that gets easily bored with stuff, people and most especially relationships. Just when I thought that I found her, this syndrome, this plague automatically kicks into high gear to tempt to do some dirty deed….. yet again.

I blogged about the photographer numerous times in here and I really thought that we were having a great time (and we were). But there’s this something inside that’s screaming for something, something more. And from the depths of the messaging world came an SMS with a name oh so familiar to me (I’ve yet to think of a pseudonym for her). And from then on, we exchange messages on a frequent basis until it came to a point that we are starting a relationship and all of these are happening with the photographer on the sideline, clueless on what I am doing. Damn this twisted head of mine but I do enjoy this and I wouldn’t exchange it for anything else! Not to be an egotistical as I am, but I will try to catch another fish and we’ll see how it will fair.

As I told the jennesis when we had a conversation, I just love toying on other people’s emotion. I dunno… I guess it gives me the satisfaction that I can’t get on anywhere else. The thrill and the rush! I’ll use anyone, everyone and anything just to give me this pleasure and for my own benefit. Twisted indeed!

I kept on telling the photographer to refrain from saying daisuki da yo and/or ti voglio bene or hamisya/halabya. Not because I am not showy of my emotions nor I don’t like those words being sez to me. It’s just that when I finally know her true feelings, this will cause me to utterly lose interest in her (in a couple of days after toying with her for the last time) and ultimately leaving her without any notice (much like what happened to the insomniax, the jennesis and some other). The photographer is somewhat special because she is being backed up by my favorite cousin so I really have to try and behave.

This will sound like am so full of myself and egotistical but this has what I become after a couple of years of hiatus. I know it turned out bad but what’s important is that am enjoyin myself every now and then.

PS
Am seriously applying as sinackular’s disciple.

jexamine.inspiration = inspiration + 1

It’s been a while since I last had a critique on my compositions, though only a few elites had seen and read the masterpiece. Recently, I had a chat with the jennesis when I was asking her a favor. The jennesis is both a fan (as she puts it) and a major critic in some, if not all, of my sonnets. She recently read the eternia entry in this blog which was incidentally for someone with the same name as hers but with a different pseudonym. I asked her to compare the sonnets nowadays as opposed to the ones that I gave her way back and she bluntly sez that the old ones were better (by far). “how can this be!?” was my initial thought. And as if on queue, she answered me that the sonnets now lack the passion and sincerity that I once infused in it. Well, I do admit that some of the sonnets now were a bit monotonous and half-heartedly done but (as I sez 88 times) this is me at the moment – somewhat on a rage, disoriented and disconnected from the 3d world.

To remedy this dilemma, I asked the jennesis a favor: if I can borrow her again as my inspiration. This was a bold move but I thought that the only way to make things happen is to bring her back to my life again. She approved the idea but she also uttered “maybe this time around, my charms won’t work anymore”. I didn’t care anymore as long as I can regain my original form. Am hoping to give the piece to her today but as of now, I haven’t done anything – no titles, no scenario, no nothing. I fear that the jennesis’ word holds true. It’s as if I have nothing for her, like I dunno her or sumthing. Well, that maybe good before but definitely not now… I don’t wanna push the words in my next couple of sonnets because they are for a very, very important person(s) and she/they only deserves my best.


Editor’s note: the sonnet eternia was done with all the passion that I have. It just seems so plain and simple but the things there are the things that I miss the most now that I don’t have the jennylicious.

P.S:
sinackular is god! Can I be one of your disciples?

reality check

I had a week off at work last week thus the lack of updates here in this blog. The leave was a perfect timing since there had been a lot of happenings lately. Literally each and everyday, something new and somewhat exciting always happened.

For starters, last Monday was the feast of the saint john the Baptist in our neighborhood and it’s a tradition to literally throw and bombard innocent bystanders and passerby with water (like the ritual where john baptized jesus). We have this thing called Libad wherein a procession for the “saints and figurines” by the lake will be held (via boats known as bangka). It usually starts early in the morn (like 8 or 9 a.m.) and the saint will be carried back to dry land by noon. Then another procession will ensue routing all the way to the church. I have a couple of pictures of the feast and will post them here as soon as I got my own connection at home.

Last week also marks the purchase of my new desktop wwwoooooohhhhooo!! But this also means that I am flat broke! I was accompanied by poytspot as we purchased the desktop on another store in another city. That was the first time that I bought a somewhat customized PC and I was lost and I dunno what to do. Poytspot helped me to choose the parts and after a couple of hours, I have my new and improved desktop. I won’t go into details of the specs of this new baby but I’ll give you a hint – it’s powerful enough to handle photoshop lightroom (the very reason why I bought a pimped destop)

It has been a very, very busy and entertaining last week and now am back at the office (which sucks). I just gotta hold on a little bit longer, but until then it’s misery for me…

blackmage9’s article causing quite a rift in the cosplay community

One of the newspaper giants here in the Philippines recently interviewed the blackmage9 for her take on what it takes to be a standout cosplayer. The article was published both in print and on their site and quickly crawled its way on forums everywhere causing some minor flame and turmoil. I read the article wwwaaayyyy before it was posted in the community that I was in (cosplay ph) and never did I thought that a single article will cause so much distraught to the forums. Tons and tons of reply to the post were cast on their take on what the flaw(s) of the article was/were. Until the blackmage9 broke her silence and gave the low-down on what happened to the article (and am not gonna detail it here). Basically, the gist was she had no idea that the publisher would publish a separate article when she asked the blackmage9 certain questions regarding cosplay (let alone the title of the article).

Now, I respect very much the blackmage9’s take on things because that is how she sees it. We have different perspective on certain things and it is this differences that makes us human and this is what makes cosplaying fun. I guess what the community is hinting at is watch what you say because it will not affect only you but the whole community as well (especially having the status of the blackmage9). One of the major blows that were pinpointed in the community was cosplay being expensive (according to the blackmage9). I, for one, agree in this aspect with the blackmage9 but it doesn’t have to be as “expensive” as other people think. One can always use recycled materials and other stuff, you just gotta be resourceful. This point alone will drive the youngbloods away from the cosplay world instead of bringing them in. While the blackmage9 were born above us commoners (as I read from her deviantart), literally blood, sweat and tears were spent for her to be able to buy the things and accessories needed for her costume. This is the reason why she’s doing auctions and art commissions – to be able to spend her earnings on a hobby that she loves doing and is very passionate of.

All is well now and I hope the blackmage9 learn something from this ordeal. And I hope that she don’t stop from cosplaying/costripping.


Disclaimer: I am not one of blackmage9’s fanboy(s) nor one of the haters. I just wanted to share my sentiments on this issue. It would be a huge blow to the cosplay community (both us photographers and cosplayers) should the blackmage9 leave the scene. It will be a great shame if we are not to see the excellent craftsmanship and innocent face that is the blackmage9.

toycon 2008 aftermath

I recently attended the 7th Philippine toycon held at the SM megamall megatrade halls 2 and 3. this is the first time that I attended a toy and hobbyist convention and quite frankly and from my perspective, well…. I was disappointed. What I fear the most had happened – that the convention will be dominated by those western figures. Figures sold were mostly those justice league, star wars, batman and the likes. I only saw a couple of Japanese anime figs like deathnote and the meccha god’s known as the gundam saga. This prompted me to just sit on the presentation grounds as I am also there to see and hear the blackmage9 in person. I just sit there for roughly 2 hours awaiting the cosplay catwalk. For this convention, I have not taken a single photo of any of the cosplayers. This was the result of a couple of factors: 1. I arrived at the convention at roughly 2 pm and I’ve not seen any cosplayers upon my arrival. 2. I was major-ly disappointed on the figs that I saw.

As I wait for the cosplay catwalk, a couple of fellow-fan sitting behind me sez “this year’s toycon was a total disappointment” and I couldn’t agree with them more. Then the catwalk proper was officially underway and I finally, finally saw the blackmage9. I was also hoping to get a glimpse of the slumberdoll but it was not meant to be. The toycon’s cosplay catwalk marked the return of a couple of well-loved anime/movie characters. The incredible hulk, iron man, the joker (from the batman), jack scissors were all present but one of the highlights of the catwalk in my point of view was the crowd favorite hard gay cosplayer and the return of a visionaries (complete with music) cosplayer and it rocked!!! The catwalk made my day and those two exact fans sez “it’s a good thing that I didn’t go home (or I would’ve missed this great catwalk)!!” when the catwalk ended I decided to roam around for a couple of minutes in the hopes of seeing the riadox07 but instead I crossed path with blackmage9 and her sister orangeish (wtf! Talk about fate)… blackmage9 was in a hurry but a cosplayer managed to got a picture of orangeish (complete with her pose). I was literally in awe and starstruck by both of them that I forgot to take some pictures.. stupid me!!! T__T.

I only went on the first day of the convention since I didn’t saw anything worth spending my time or money on except for those wasabi toys (anime hats) which I bought for my lil’ sis. And just like that, the toycon 2008 ended.